One of the things that we've noticed in moving to Dunedin is that we have little in common with most of the people we've met here. We're a bit surprised to find this, having found good friends while in California.
Here's some examples of our experiences: The backyard neighbors asked us over for dinner. I cancelled my evening meetings, we grabbed a bottle of wine, and knocked on their door at the proper time. The door opened to chairs around the perimeter of the living room, focused on the TV. Dinner was purchased sandwiches with lemonade on a small table, and next to it sat a very large man wearing a Walgreens name tag. Hmmm. This looked very odd. So much for a good dinner. The hosts informed us that other neighbors were showing up - so this sounded kind of nice with the opportunity to meet more neighbors. One showed up, an elderly woman who was the original owner of her home across the street. They had picked up the guy from Walgreens when they got their flu shots.
We politely ate our store-bought sandwiches and sipped our lemonade while making polite conversation. Mark and I were considering our exit when the host wife stood up and said we would now watch a video on love. What is this?? Neighborhood porno?
Alas, this was a religious video hosted by Rick Warren (who's name was familiar to me because of the 2005 Atlanta killing spree by Brian Nichols. Mr. Nichols ended up in Ashley Smith Robinson's apartment where she stayed alive and managed to convince Mr. Nichols to surrender after reading to him from one of Rick Warren's books). Mark and I were not enthused by the duplicity of the evening and sat through the video impatiently. When it ended, i took over the conversation, not wishing a preachy evening. I enjoyed meeting the elderly neighbor, but otherwise, the evening began to form our opinion of our neighbors. Walgreens guy just kept eating sandwiches.
Our next door neighbor invited us over to taste some of the lobster he caught in the Bahamas. This was following a fabulous dinner that Mark created a few months before for neighbor and his wife. They are friendly neighbors, love to golf, and have 2 little 'yippy' dogs that Mark plays with. We arrive for dinner and are very well fed, nice wine, good conversation. 5 minutes after dessert was put on the table, we were told that he had an early tee time and we'd need to leave. So, our evening was barely 1 1/2 hours!
Mark befriended a fellow Turk who works at Home Depot - where Mark spends most of his week. Home Depot Turk and his American wife asked us to join them at the nearby Irish pub for Friday night. This sounded like fun and they are pleasant to join for the evening. Mark was called on Wednesday that the evening was 'off'. Apparently they were only going to listen to a favorite musician and they found out he wasnt playing. So, the evening was called off. Gee, Mark and I thought they wanted to get together with us - but it was really about them going to hear the musician.
We have met one couple who are 'normal' for us. We picked up Camille on nearby Honeymoon Island during a fierce storm in august. She didnt mind walking back to her home in the rain, but the lightening was too dangerous. So, we offered to take her back with us. Tulin was visiting, and sat on my lap so we all could fit in Mark's truck. Only then did we find out she was a neighbor! There was a thank you note in our mailbox the next day with an invitation to come over.
Mark and I headed over when schedules permitted (she's a flight attendant so has a crazy schedule). Husband Glenn is a consultant... maybe in the media business, his profession. They've lived in many of the same cities as I have. They've lived in Asia and Europe as well. We find we have a lot of similiar interests and have a good time when we get together. Now, this is what we are looking for.
Making friends does take time. And without the benefit of jobs to meet people who may have more in common with us, we are at the mercy of our daily activities to find folks we like. We really appreciate the friends we have, and we clearly need to expand the perimeter of our lives a bit!!!
